will you catch me if i fall?

So, I recently saw a video on Facebook about people trying to catch their mates out in a trust fall. They could be anywhere, like a coffee shop, supermarket etc where they purposely tripped themselves to see if their friend would save them. While it was hilarious to watch, it was also very heartwarming to see that most really did try to save their mate, even though by the end, they both often ended up on the floor. But all I could think about while watching the video was how my Poss would so fail at this challenge, even if I wasn’t pretending.

You see, I’m about the biggest klutz to walk this earth. So much for all those ballet classes Mum sent me for when I was a child to make me more graceful, because sober or under the influence, in heels or in flats, it doesn’t make a difference – I seem to be able to stumble over or walk into anything. I do walk pretty fast though, so that MUST be the reason – yes, I’ll just keep telling myself that.

Even as a young’un studying in Australia, I used to have some pretty spectacular spills. There was the time we were entering a club and I turned to my BFF and said, “Tonight, I am NOT going to fall down these stairs”. I then proceeded to walk up said stairs and tripped right back down to the bottom! Or the time we were skiing and a friend ahead of me dropped her ski pole which I offered to pick up as I passed it, only to pass it completely and crash into a tree near the bottom of the hill. It’s then I heard the thunderous applause courtesy of everyone waiting for the ski lift who had just witnessed the whole thing. I know … it’s so sad!

What can you do right? Best laugh about the fact you have an issue with gravity. But when Poss and I got together, I thought I had truly found my rescuer – yeah … maybe not! Because the amount of times Poss hasn’t saved me could possibly be some kinda record.

The “non-save” that stands out the most happened after our engagement dinner at the OXO Tower in London – ok yes, it’s an under influence story but hey, I had just been proposed to a few days earlier so I was totally intoxicated on LOVE haha! En route to the tube station after dinner, we had to walk down a rather long flight of stairs where about 3 steps in, I fell arse over tit down too many stairs to count and crashed landed onto the middle landing below.

The first person I saw coming towards me was not my Poss but some guy from the bottom of the stairs who happened to be a Nurse. Even though I figured out that miraculously, nothing was actually broken besides my ego, one of my legs was in so much pain, I could barely speak – which made me appear rather uncooperative to the poor Nurse who was just trying to check if I was ok. Thankfully I was and eventually managed to get up and hobble my way to the station.

Another rather funny episode happened a few years back while Poss & I were taking in the sights of Madrid. It was a particularly wet day and we were walking side by side down a random street when I accidentally slipped in a puddle. Not only did Poss not help break my fall but he continued walking on, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his wife had suddenly disappeared. Instead, a nice Spanish lady rushed up behind me, helped me up and dusted me off – only then did my husband realise I was missing and turned around.

He insists that my tumbles happen so fast that it’s close to impossible to catch me “One second you’re there and then you’re not. Nobody expects that!” – OK Poss, whatever you say. But to be fair, for all the times he hasn’t saved me, there are plenty of times that he has, sometimes even going the whole distance and ending up on the floor with me.

Husband to the rescue or not, it is rather comforting to know that complete strangers do come to your aid – it really does restore your faith in humanity and I for one am thankful to the Nurse, the Spanish lady and all the other concerned strangers who’ve stopped to help.

So the next time you’re out and about and you see someone take a tumble, do stop laughing long enough to offer a hand. You never know, the hand at the other end might just be attached to me.

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Ex-expat Dubai Diva wife - still trying to take it all in her stride, one stiletto at a time!

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