And teenager makes 3. Apparently storks now deliver kids of all ages to your doorstep, because with the recent arrival of our eldest son in Dubai, I have officially become a full-time expat Mum!
Like any expectant Mum, I was a little anxious at first. While I have had 12 years of getting the whole alternate weekends/holidays evil step-mother role down pat, the trials and tribulations of playing Mum to an 18 year old on a daily basis is a different ballgame altogether.
Case in point – when I asked Ari if he wanted me to go with him to his college orientation, he turned to me, complete with horrified expression and said …“I’m 18 Mum – I am independent.”. I had to laugh – this from the boy who will wait till I’m in the kitchen getting my lunch to avoid having to sort his own out. Independent indeed … it’s all relative!
Speaking of eating, he eats like a horse! You wouldn’t know it looking at his tall and lanky frame. I can only just about keep the kitchen stocked with enough food. Sigh! It makes you yearn for the days of your youth – “Hey, Universe! My body just called. It wants its metabolism back!”
How he then gets into those super skinny jeans is beyond me. I mean, I have skinny jeans (being a fashionably cool Diva Mum and all), but there’s tight and then there’s “I’ve lost all feeling in my legs?” tight. Ari’s jeans are so tight, they almost make mine look like “MOM” jeans in comparison.
And is it me or do teenagers seem much more “floppy” these days? Because ours seems to be constantly flopping down on whichever piece of furniture he hits first. Must be those jeans slowly making them pass out!
It’s been just over a month now since our new arrival and so far, all conversations with me seem to revolve around food, like … “I’m starving!”, “What’s for lunch?”, “What time is dinner?”, which explains why I’m spending way more time in the kitchen. I also seem to be picking more things up off the floor, my laundry load has doubled even though there’s only 1 extra person, and of course you know what more laundry equals … more freaking ironing! This daily routine of playing Mum is a little exhausting – contract re-negotiation please!
On the plus side, I now have another man in the house that can carry the groceries, take out the garbage, do the dishes, open up jars …. basically do any chore I can dream up! And all jokes aside, of course having Ari here with us is a cause for celebration, no matter the circumstance. Because for the first time in like forever, Poss has finally got at least one of his boys 24/7, and seeing his happiness would melt any heart – even an evil step-mother’s 😉